I think my son worked out how to get my site pointed to the blog. Just have to wait and see if, and when, Google notices that the site is no longer a source of malware. This gives me no end of delight. I had never really managed to create the site I wanted in the first place (we migrated my blog, which sort of destroyed its structure, and I never got around to fixing it all – MANUALLY), and starting from scratch here seems very appropriate for several reasons.
For one, I feel like I am finally on the road to a new life. Or, more precisely, I finally feel like I am coming into my OWN life. For the first time, EVER. No, it’s not just about relationships or the house or careers or whatever… it’s about the changes that are happening to me on an internal level, and of which I can have no idea how they might materialize in the outer world. I am not holding any expectation as to how TOMORROW might turn out, let alone how things might be for me/us in six months or a year. Everything about this shift for me is about being VERY NOW, focusing on what is right in front of me.
This blog is a hopeful reflection of that shift in my personal experience. I had started something with meaning and purpose so many years ago, and struggled to keep its intent and function pure, but had failed miserably and finally abandoned the whole project as I went through all the many levels of hell I have traversed since that time. Now, the very idea of being able to rekindle that original intent, to bring forth some of what stirs within me to others for what I hope to be their benefit, is very life-affirming to me at this time.
Just being ABLE to think about writing again gives me a feeling of HOPE that has been very elusive for me in the last few years.